AUTHOR: Stephen TITLE: Secret Societies, What Do They Want? DATE: 9/15/2005 05:37:00 PM ----- BODY:

CONTROL FREAKS? Two-thirds of adult male humans believe that secret societies in some capacity control every aspect of society; aspects as disparate as the weather or the cost of milk. Members of secret societies generally live forever. Secret societies have been around for nearly as long as regular societies; all the way back to the caveman-era! It is believed by scientists that secret societies began when someone from the future told someone else from the past "Ooga-booga, something is eating the moon or sun." Nothing, of course was eating anything in the sky, but try explaining that (or the complexities of time-travel) to a caveman. Why don't we see evidence of secret societies if they've been for hundreds of thousands, if not millions, of years? It is probably because Americans, in their chicken-with-its-head-cut-off search for their fifteen minutes of fame, have very short attention spans. (*Secret societies are usually helped out by aliens in their quest for eternal life.)

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